For years I have enjoyed
blood. Now before you go thinking I’m some vampire wanna-be, I’m
not! I’m referring to the satisfaction I get when I slap the dog in the
face, open-clawed and see his blood begin to ooze from his body.
Yes, it seems
extreme.
But, trust me, the
little squished-face loser deserves it. I’ll save my reasoning for another day
because I could go on forever!! I usually avoid his major arteries since
I need him to carry out my requests as my personal servant, I mean assistant.
All this time of me
puncturing, poking, prodding and accidentally destroying Mommy and Daddy’s
furniture, I’ve been a wonderfully respectable and honorably tradescat; a
FILOBOTOMIST!!
It occurred to me the
other day when I was listening in on Motha’s phone call to Daddy. Apparently
she went to have blood werk things done to her because she was very bad.
She said that “it hurt like heck” (her words not mine! I enjoy profanity!)
……..and she said that they took out a lot of blood.
The college medical
library-book of science things said that a minimum of 3 pounds has to be taken
at a time!!
Isn’t that just great?!
In my researching of
world events later that day, I found out that a person that takes blood out is
called a filobotomist! Nice for Shelby!
See, I even received
this award of honor and prestige!!
(Peep Mr. Frog in the back checking out my ass! Don't fret my mice-faces, you'll be formerly introduced at a later date.)
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As fun as this has been,
I must leave you to go practice my filobotomisersy on the dog!!
“Oh, losa!! Where are
you?! Bring your throat to Shelby!”
