Yesterday was National Dog Day.
Needless to say, I was not pleased when Motha announced this as she was getting ready to go do werk things. I almost launched myself at the little mongrel in fury at this horrific comment until I heard my Fatha say that it would be a good idea to give Shadow extra treats after his morning walk in order to celebrate. That sent me into a fit of rage. I saw nothing but red!
How could they do such a thing. Honestly! The dog deserves nothing but a few slams to the head with a crowbar! He smells, he's stupid, he's useless, he craps outside, he doesn't clean himself and he's a DOG!
If they were going to give him extra treats, then they leave me no choice but to retaliate.
Sure, I got extra treats when it was National Cat Day...it should have been National Cat Week, but that's another story. However, I am an outstanding creature! They don't call me Princess Amazing for nothing!
I haven't completely decided what my retaliation should be. I mean, I could go with the usual things such as: peeing on the carpet and blaming it on the dog, sneak kamikaze attacks to his head from the kitchen counter (don't worry, I always survive), mixing some tranquilizers into his water bowl (FUNNY!), etc...
For this one, I think I need to punish them all.
Yes, they should all be punished for taking part in this repulsive "dog holiday"....
Welp! I've decided!
I will not sleep on Motha's and Fatha's head tonight! Instead, I will sleep under the bed and hide until the day is over.
This will also allow me to whisper scary things to the dog (he sleeps on the foot of the bed like a moron.)
I might even launch night attacks and wake them all up!
Ah, this is gonna be GREAT!
Happy National Dog Day to Shelby!!
