What the hell is Motha's day? I mean honestly, the loser dog just sprung this news upon Shelby. Apparently, he was watching Sunday morning cartoons and a commercial came on saying it was Motha's day.
Was I supposed to get Motha something? Because I didn't. And I won't. She doesn't need anything! She has me, Shelby, Princess Amazing!
What she does need is for the dog to be dead. Actually, we all need that.
Here are some gifts I give Motha on a daily basis:
-I'm amazing.
-I keep the dog in check.
-I allow her to pet me on occasion.
-I don't let her leave the house without me rubbing my fur on her clothes (I mean, how else would she find her way home?)
-I'm amazing.
-I chase the things that aren't there.
-I allow her to sleep in my bed.
-I pay the mortgage!
-I'm amazing.
And so you have it. Those are just some of the reasons why Motha is lucky to have Shelby. Therefore, she doesn't need anything else. I could go on forever, explaining why I'm such an outstanding Shelby, but...I must clean myself for a couple hours and then sleep for several more.
Happy Motha's Day!
